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Saturday, January 31, 2015

Amra 4, Chapter 2

Some more of the current work in progress! Chapter 2 turned out to be a bit on the long side. The usual caveats apply: Every single word below is subject to change before publication. Enjoy!



Two



I'd given up on any quick solution to the puzzle of Amra's disappearance after I'd exhausted every reasonable avenue of inquiry that I and Greytooth could come up with. That had wasted a week, but I had, at least, confirmed three things: That Amra wasn't dead, that the Telemarch definitely was, and that Amra was almost certainly nowhere in the World.
That left everything outside the World. Which was a very large area to search. Technically, it was an infinity. Multiple infinities. But at least I had her point of departure.
I climbed the stairs to the top floor, to look for the hundredth time at the Telemarch's inner sanctum. Or rather, the space that had contained his inner sanctum.
There wasn't a precise line where the room ended. Take the ugly, skull-shaped door, for example. The exterior of the door was as solid, and tasteless, as it had ever been. The interior of the door, however, no longer existed. Or at least the interior surface was as gone as gone gets.
It did not cease to exist at a precise point. The interior surface of the door, and the entire room, just faded. The nearest analogy I could manage was that of someone dipping a brush in ink and dragging it across a sheet of parchment. At first the line would be a solid black, but as the ink was used up, the line would become fainter, patchier, until it disappeared entirely.
In this case, the ink was reality itself. What the brush had been, and whose hand had guided it, I could only speculate. In all probability I had the metaphor reversed, and reality had been erased rather than applied. It made no difference, really, since all I had at this point was speculation.
I entered the room, wishing for at least the fiftieth time that I'd known what it had looked like before it had gone missing.
Keel had been following me. I hadn't really noticed until he failed to follow me into the room. He didn't like the room. Said it gave him the mimis, whatever those were.
Hurvus will be around this afternoon to check your eye, Magus,” he said to my back.
What's to check? It's not there anymore.”
You know what I mean.”
I sighed, and nodded. “I do.”
We've nearly finished off the Telemarch's larder. Down to dried beans and ham bones. I have a little coin, enough for a few days' groceries, but I don't know what's available now.”
Why?”
Because of the riots and the barricades.”
I turned around. “No, Keel, I mean why are you still here. This last week I have not been the pleasantest person to be around. Why are you still here, telling me about appointments and groceries?”
His face got a little pale, and a little angry. “Did you want me to leave?”
No. I just want to know why you're here instead of out there. You told me you were one of the Just Man's followers, before.”
He nodded. “I was. But Ansen's dead. He doesn't need any help. Amra's alive, somewhere, and she does. I owe her.”
I'm doing everything I can to get her back, Keel.”
I know, magus. And I know I can't really help with that. But I can remind you your wound needs checked, and I can make sure there's food ready when you remember to eat.” He shrugged. “I want to do what I can, even if it isn't much. Plus,” he grinned, “I'm supposed to be gone from Bellarius. Since I'm still here, I'd rather be holed up in a fortress with a magus than out on the street where Moc Mien's crew can get hold of me.”
I smiled. It hurt. “Ah. Theiner. I'd forgotten about him. All right, If you're going to be my eyes, ears and hands in the city below, I can't have you dodging his crew all the time. Best to deal with him now rather than later.” I left the inner sanctum, dug into a pocket and came up with a few marks. I passed them to Keel. “After you buy provisions, I want you to invite Theiner up for dinner tonight. I want to talk to him.”
Uh, magus–”
Don't tell me you don't know where to find him.”
It's not that. If he sees me again he's going to do very bad things to me. Permanent things.”
No he won't.” I dug out another mark, pulled a whisper of power from my well, and scribed the Hardic rune for 'parley' just above it. The rune floated and turned slow circles, as buttery gold as the gold mark it drew its reality from. I gave it enough power to last the day, and hardened it so that it wouldn't fade once I turned my concentration away from it.
I flicked the coin to Keel. “Give him that. You'll be fine. He'll respect the parley.”
All right,” he said, both morosely and dubiously. “Anything else?”
Do you know where the banking house of Vulkin and Bint is?” I was going to need much more hard currency than I'd brought along with me on my voyage from Lucernis.
Not really, but all the banks are on the same street, so yes.”
I'll need you to carry a letter there for me. I'll write it out in a moment.”
They're not going to let me in the door. Especially not with the rioting.”
You don't have to go in. Just deliver the letter to the doorman. And on your way back invite Greytooth to dinner, as well.”
So we're having a dinner party.”
It would appear so. Better buy some decent wine.”
Magus?”
Keel, if you don't start calling me Holgren I'm going to write it on a stick and beat you with it until you remember.”
He smiled. “That sounds like something she would say.” No need to explain who 'she' was.
Where do you think I got it from?”
All right, Holgren. One more question?”
Yes?”
Why the change? For the last week you've barely spoken, or slept, or eaten. Everything has been about the magic. Now you're making plans like you're going to be here a while.”
It was a good question. The boy was perceptive, if annoyingly young. “The change is because I've exhausted all my quick, relatively sane options for finding her.”
So? What now?”
From here on out, haste is a liability. She lives, that much I know, not hope. While that remains true, I have to walk a knife edge in regards to what I can and should attempt, to find her and get her back. I have to walk that edge. No more sprinting. The consequences could be dire.”
He shook his head. “I don't really know what you mean.”
I'll explain all you're likely to understand, and probably much more. But tonight at dinner, not now.”

~ ~ ~

When Keel left I went exploring. I'd seen something in the Telemarch's weave of wards that had intrigued me. I wanted to see if my suspicions were correct.
I knew that, below the four visible floors of the tower, there was a basement that served as larder and kitchen. But the weave suggested there was more to the Citadel, possibly much more.
I didn't bother to take a lantern. The weave of wards and other, still unknown magics was so dense and bright to my magesight that mundane light wasn't necessary. If I needed to see something with my physical eyes—eye—I could always summon magelight in any case.
It was in the great hearth of the kitchen. What looked like a solid, soot-blackened back wall was just illusion. Behind it was a corridor. Where it led to, I couldn't tell from the outside.
I stepped through the wall.
Dust and soot, thick and dry and kicked up by my feet, assaulted my nostrils. I sneezed. It was loud in that cold, silent place. I walked forward, and within a few feet came to a T intersection. Stairs led down in either direction. I chose the left-hand path and descended, but soon enough came to an abrupt dead end. I summoned a ball of magelight and took a look.
The passageway had collapsed, and the weave of wards was torn and dead where the rubble began. I did a little mental calculation and came to the conclusion that I was just about where the Riail must have stood, before Amra made it fall down on top of the Syndic.
Retracing my route, I took the right-hand stairs. Soon enough the stairs began to spiral. They went down a long, long way, with the occasional off-shooting corridor, which I ignored for the time being.
Eventually I came to a rough-hewn cavern, featureless and empty except for a massive iron disc which lay on the floor. It was at least four feet in diameter and five inches thick, and had hundreds of sigils carved into its face, all of them whispering of containment and quiescence, torpidity and compliance.
It was the sorcerous equivalent of a prison door.
I traced the weave, found the command, forced the door. The iron disk floated up and out of the way, revealing a black shaft drilled into the floor. At first glance I thought the shaft was featureless, but closer inspection revealed more of the same sigils carved into the shaft's smooth wall. They were barely visible to the human eye, they were etched so small. I hadn't noticed them at first because every iota of magic had been leeched out of them, unlike the sigils on the shaft's lid. Closer inspection revealed that they were still sound, just bereft of power. If it were necessary, they could be renewed.
I summoned a glowing bead of light, gave it weight and enough power to last perhaps a quarter of an hour, and dropped it down the shaft. It fell and fell, and was lost to sight long before its power sputtered out.
This then was what Greytooth called the rift, where Aither had stored his unrefined magic, his uncut chaos. It was empty now, a very deep, very dark hole in the ground rather than a flawed reservoir of power. I would have given much to know where that power had gone. I had a feeling that, wherever it had disappeared to, Amra wasn't far from it.
Where did you go?” I whispered, and the rift ate my words and gave nothing back.
I sat down on the dusty stone floor, put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Alone for the first time in a week, I let my frustration and fear for Amra out in a burning shriek. When it was done, my throat was raw. I don't know that it made me feel any better, but at least I felt no worse. Slowly, patiently I pieced together my self control and calm reserve, and strapped myself into it, like a knight his armor.
The frantic worry clawed at my stomach, as it had since she'd entered the Telemarch's sanctum. I made sure no sign of it touched my face.
I replaced the lid and began the long climb back up to the tower.
If I had need of it, I had the world's deepest, most secure oubliette at my disposal. And I would have need.
I'd feared, since I first forced the door to the Telemarch's inner sanctum, that any reasonable approach to locating Amra would be met with disappointment. Slowly, over the course of the last week, as spell after spell had failed, I had been considering more extreme plans to get her back.
The first that came to mind was finding yet another of the Eightfold's Blades, and using it to find her. I'd put it aside, considering just how powerful, unpredictable and dangerous those Blades had so far proven to be. Put aside, but not discarded. I would do it if I had to. Even if it earned me Greytooth's enmity.
Before I went down that road, however, there was another I could travel. It was equally deadly and equally terrifying, but it was a route that I had much more knowledge of.
The rift, bereft of power as it now was, would still prove useful on that journey.

~ ~ ~

Any unusual pain?” Hurvus asked me as he applied some milky solution to the empty socket. It was cold, numbing and uncomfortable.
Define unusual, in the context of losing an eye,” I replied.
Sudden headaches? Persistent irritation?”
No. The pain has lessened, though it still hurts if I glance somewhere quickly.”
The muscles are tied into each other, trying to move an eye that isn't there anymore. The pain will fade. Sit up, lean forward, let it drain into the basin. Have you considered a false eye or sewing the lids shut?”
I have not.”
Good. Don't. That's just begging for infection. And don't sleep with the patch on. Disease loves close, damp, dark places.” He handed me a clean cloth and began packing up his things in a worn leather satchel. I wiped the solution off my cheek and eyelids.
It don't need any more attention from me. I won't miss the walks up the Mount. If you need anything else, you can come see me. I won't be back here.”
Trouble getting through the Girdle?”
No. The boys on the barricades know me, and the Blacksleeves as well. Physicking has its benefits.”
What about Keel?” I asked him.
What about Keel?”
Anything more to do about that arm of his?”
I unbound it this morning and re-splinted it. Or hadn't you noticed?”
I hadn't. I've been rather distracted.”
He grunted. “It's properly set and healing well. The splints can come off in a month. No more, no less. Then he'll need to build his strength back up in the arm, but slowly. The muscles will have atrophied by then. I've told him all this, but Isin only knows if he was paying attention.”
I stood and shook his hand. Passed him a few marks. “My thanks, and your payment. Have you eaten? Greytooth will be supping with me in an hour or so.”
I can't. I have a committee meeting.”
I raised an eyebrow.
The Just Men. I've been keeping busy sewing them up after their clashes with the Councilors' troops.”
Have you become a revolutionary, then?”
I take no part in politics. But their organization regarding casualties is a sad fucking shambles. I decided to give them a little advice, if only to make my life easier and keep people from dying unnecessarily.”
Enlightened self-interest, then.”
Too fucking right.”
A drink before you go?”
His eyes said 'hells yes' but his mouth said 'no thanks.'
I saw him to the door. As he was going down the steep street, he passed another gentleman coming up it. I waited at the door, since anyone who had climbed this far could only be coming to the Citadel. The fellow didn't look like much, but I activated the wards nonetheless. Appearances, deceiving, etc. The man was a mage, that much I could tell with my magesight. How powerful he might be I had no idea.
He was a relatively young fellow, fit enough that the climb hadn't winded him too badly. He was dressed in white hose, black shoes with silver buckles, and a suit that was silk and pale, pale blue. He wore a tri-cornered hat, Isinglas-style. I looked down at my own clothes, and realized I was sorely in need of a laundress. Well. At least black was forgiving of grime.
He stopped a few feet away from the threshold and said “Magister Angrado?”
I nodded.
He doffed his hat and gave me a shallow bow. “Perrick Leed, of Vulkin and Bint.”
Well met, Magister Leed. Would you care to come inside?”
Your pardon, but no. I was sent to verify your claim, as is necessary before the bank can accede to your request. It will only take a moment, and then I will return to the bank directly to fulfill your instructions.”
Well enough,” I said. I'd set in place the precautions Leeds was now following, so it wouldn't have been very fair of me to complain. Being both a thief and a mage, I'd imagined far too many ways to make child's play of a banking house's mundane security procedures.
Do you submit to the Compulsion, magus?”
I do.”
He summoned up his power, and I felt the Compulsion settle on my mind like a soft cloth. I would notice no further effects, as long as I did not try to lie.
Are you in fact the mage Holgren Angrado?”
I am.”
Do you in fact wish to withdraw a sum of forty thousand Lucernan gold marks based on the letter of credit on file with the Bellarian chapter of the bank?”
I do.”
Does the Lucernan chapter of the bank in fact hold sufficient monies on deposit in your name to cover in full the sum you have requested, including the applicable five per cent accommodation fee?”
It does, as far as I know and last I checked.”
Are you in any way trying to deceive the bank into giving you monies that you do not in fact possess, or are otherwise spoken for?”
I am not.”
The Compulsion dissipated and Leed bowed once again. “I thank you for your time, Magister, and apologize for this necessary delay. Your request will be fulfilled in the morning.”
Why the delay?”
The current situation in the city is such that we feel it necessary take extra precautions, to ensure that your funds are delivered.”
In other words, the city is a battlefield and you need to gather a small army to make sure I get my gold.”
Precisely, Magister Angrado.”
Well. I apologize for putting the bank out in this fashion.”
Apologies are wasted on banks, magus,” he said with a small smile, “as they do not fit in any ledger. But I appreciate the sentiment. Good day.”

~ ~ ~

Keel was a dismal cook.
He'd prepared what he said were marsh eels in heartroot sauce, but looked like discs of gristle half-submerged in a gray, cold, pasty gravy. He'd mistaken pepper for a vegetable, rather than a seasoning. The bread at least was bought from a bakery and palatable, if stupendously expensive, costing nearly as much as the wine. The rebels controlled the docks, but Councilor Steyner and Councilor When controlled the routes into the Bellarian countryside, where virtually all the produce and fresh meat for the city came from. Imported wine was dirt cheap. The price of loaf of black bread was enough to cause heart palpitations.
Greytooth, Keel and I ate in virtual silence. Greytooth, I had discovered, enjoyed talking about as much as I enjoyed having one eye. Keel could talk all night, but he kept silent, sitting at a table with two mages. As for me, I'd been raised to save conversation for after a meal. Besides, I needed all my concentration to finish the meal without letting on what a chore it was to chew and swallow.
Theiner had not yet made his appearance.
I had no idea where Keel had gotten the table. Or the chairs. Or the dishes or the cutlery. I hadn't seen anything remotely like them when Amra and I had first entered the Citadel, and in the week that followed, I hadn't been paying attention to anything other than trying to find her. Well, that and my eye. I would have been happy to ignore that as well, but the pain, especially at first, had been unignorable.
I finished the last bite and, with a sigh that I hoped sounded like satisfaction, pushed the empty pewter dish away from me.
Many thanks, Keel. That was...” I searched for a word that wouldn't be an outright lie.
Horrific,” Greytooth supplied.
...filling,” I finally managed.
I've seen my Ma make it a hundred times,” the boy muttered. “Not sure what went wrong.”
Cooking is as much an art as the Art,” I said. “Perhaps we should hire a professional.” I looked around the virtually empty ground floor. “Maybe somebody to dust. Do you know anyone?”
That would haul themselves up to the Citadel each day, past the barricades? How much are you paying?”
Whatever you think is fair, Keel. I leave it to you. They can do the marketing as well.”
He nodded. “I'll find somebody tomorrow.” He rose to collect the dishes.
No, leave them. We need to talk, we three.”
Greytooth raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.
I filled everyone's glasses and sat back down. “First I want to thank both of you for all you have done this last week, and for the assistance, and friendship, you tendered Amra before that.”
Keel looked down at his lap, embarrassed. Greytooth swirled his wine.
I have not been able to discover Amra's whereabouts, despite all our efforts. We have done all that can reasonably be done, I believe.”
Does that mean you're giving up the search?” Greytooth asked, voice mild.
It does not. It means I am preparing to resort to unreasonable means to find her.”
Such as?”
Well that depends in part on what you can tell me about the Philosophers' connection to the Eightfold, and Her Blades.”
He put his glass down. “I can tell you nothing, Holgren.”
Can't, or won't?”
He avoided my question by asking his own.
What do you hope to gain by such knowledge? How does that have anything to do with finding Mistress Thetys?”
An Arhat was mixed up in the whole sordid affair with the Blade that Whispers Hate. Here in Bellarius, Amra encountered the Knife that Parts the Night—and you, Magister Greytooth, another Arhat, another Philosopher. I have learned one thing in the years I have spent with Amra Thetys: Where she goes there is no coincidence, only cause and effect.
That the Philosophers are connected to the Eightfold's Blades I have zero doubt. That Amra is connected to the Blades, likewise. Therefore you Philosophers are, in some form or fashion, connected to Amra, even if only tangentially. I want to know what that connection is, Fallon.”
Why?”
Because anything connected to her might be something I can use to pull her back from wherever she has gone, or guide me to where she is.”
Holgren. I am sorry, truly. This connection does not offer hope of that sort.”
Tell me, and let me judge.”
Very well. Put simply, The Cataclysm was caused by a splinter faction of the Philosophers; this much I suspect you know.”
I do.”
That faction used one of the Eightfold's Blades to... do what they did. The rest of us have been dedicated to collecting Her Blades ever since, to finding them and keeping them out of the reach of anyone who would seek to use them, so that nothing like the Cataclysm might ever happen again.”
Noble,” I said, “but not, you'll pardon my saying, terribly effective, judging by the state of Bellarius.” Hundreds had died when the power of the rift had begun to breach its containment. Buildings had melted like wax, dark things had been birthed and still roamed the night streets, killing and worse. The Knife that Parts the Night had made it all possible.
We are few and the Blades are extremely powerful. Until Amra destroyed the Blade that Whispers Hate, we had devoted ourselves for centuries to tracking the Blades down and containing them, believing them indestructible.” He tossed back the remains of his wine and set the empty glass carefully on the table.
Amra Thetys gave us hope that we might accomplish what we all had believed was impossible. She gave us reason to believe we could fully discharge the debt that the Philosophers owed the world, for bringing on the Cataclysm. Her destruction of Abanon's Blade gave us reason to hope that we need not spend an eternity hunting and imprisoning the mad weapons of a mad goddess, that our quest and our watch might actually have some end. That is the connection between Amra and my order, Holgren. That, and no other. I swear it. I'm sorry that it does not afford you any means to bring her back.”
It was the most I'd heard him say at any one time. He looked drained. I poured him another glass.
How do the Philosophers track the Blades?”
We do not, as such. We merely look for certain signs that one might be loose, and in the hands of a mortal. We have no direct way of finding them using the Art, or the Philosophy. I do not know where Kalara's Knife is any more than I know where Amra is, nor do I have any special means of finding out.”
What if—” My question was interrupted by a knock at the door. Theiner, I presumed. Or Moc Mien. Whichever. Keel obviously presumed the same, because he was suddenly very busy clearing the table and disappearing.
I went and opened the door.
Magus,” Theiner said with a nod. “Got your invite.” He was standing with his arms folded, coat-less despite the cold.
I nodded in return and stepped aside to allow him entry. He didn't move.
Where's Amra?” he asked.
That's one of the things I'd like to discuss with you.”
She obviously did what she said she would, or we wouldn't be standing here talking. And I wouldn't be meeting you in the Citadel if the Telemarch still had a pulse.”
Please, Moc Mien, come in.” He was Theiner to Amra, not me. I was meeting with a crew chief, not an old friend.
Finally he did, with what seemed to me a strange reluctance. He wandered around the big, empty room for a moment, sparing a glance for Greytooth, who in turn ignored him completely.
Where's Keel?” he asked.
Washing up after dinner.”
Staying out of my sight, you mean.”
I mean he's washing up after dinner.” Moc Mien snorted, but let it rest. To my mind, Keel had nothing to prove to anyone. He could have fled the city at any point, knowing his former crew wouldn't be kind at all if they caught him. He'd stayed to help rescue Amra. Moc Mien's opinion of the boy meant nothing to me.
Care for some wine?” I asked him, and he nodded. I poured him a glass.
Are you going to answer my question, mage?” he asked as he took the glass from me and leaned up against a pillar.
As to where Amra is, I don't know. Not here. Not anywhere in the word. But not dead.”
You're going to have to explain that one to me, I'm afraid. I'm just a street rat grown up.”
I snorted. “So is Amra, as far as that goes. Please don't play the fool, Moc Mien. It doesn't suit you.”
All right, if she isn't dead and isn't in the world, where the fuck is she?”
That's exactly what I've been trying to find out ever since she disappeared.”
Well. Thanks for enlightening me. Is that all you wanted to discuss?”
No,” I said. “But let's leave the other topics until Keel rejoins us.” I hoped the boy would return without me having to call him. It wouldn't do to show fear to one like Moc Mien. “Amra told me that you were her oldest living friend. How did you meet?”
I needed someone small enough and with the balls to climb up the inside of a drainpipe. It was a pretty wide drainpipe, but it was long, and as crooked as Kerf's staff.”
What in the world did you need someone to do that for?”
It was the only way I could find into a place I wanted to get into.”
Did she do it?”
No. She asked if I was born a moron or became one later, and then picked the lock on the coal chute.” He smiled at the memory, briefly. The smile disappeared when Keel came up the stairs from the kitchen, replaced by the stony mask of a crime lord. For his part, Keel ignored his former boss, sat down at the table and sipped at his wine.
I went to the table and sat down, looking at Moc Mien. After a brief hesitation he peeled his back off the pillar and sat, splay-legged, in the last empty seat.
Gentlemen. Sitting around this table are the four people in Bellarius who know Amra, know that she saved this city from utter destruction, and have a stake in bringing her back from wherever she has gone.”
Yeah, you might want to explain that part a bit more clearly,” Moc Mien drawled. “Where did she go?”
Very well. Here are the bare facts. She entered the Telemarch's inner sanctum. The Telemarch died. Amra, the Knife that Parts the Knife, and the power that the Telemarch had summoned that was rapidly destroying the city all vanished. The facts and their order of occurrence are what I and Magister Greytooth are completely certain of.”
What in hells is the Knife that Parts the Night?”
A powerful and deadly weapon made by by a powerful and insane goddess. It was what gave the Telemarch much of his magic, and made him insane.”
Fair enough. Next question. Where were you when Amra was facing him down, mage?” Moc Mien's voice had a thick thread of contempt running through it, but I answered calmly.
Getting my eye gouged out by a monster.”
He was protecting a little girl,” Keel said, pointing to me, eyes hot. “Where the hells were you?”
I'm going to let that pass for now, boy. We'll get to you later.”
Keel,” I said quietly, “Moc Mien is here for a parley at my invitation. Don't insult my honor.” It wasn't really fair to Keel, but he was young and hotheaded. He needed to learn to stay calm when provoked.
Sorry,” Keel muttered. He didn't sound the least bit sorry. I wouldn't have either, at that age.
Moc Mien, Amra isn't dead. Whatever she did, it saved the city and everyone in it. Whatever she did, it caused her to disappear from the world. But she isn't dead.”
How does that work, exactly? How do you leave the world any way other than feet-first?”
There are an infinite number of planes of existence.”
Oh? Care to give me an example?”
Certainly. In fact I'll give you eleven: The eleven hells, to be precise.”
You're saying Amra is in a hell?”
I don't know where Amra is. It's possible she's there. It's equally possible she's wandering around the plane of the gods, stealing fruit from Isin's own garden and complaining about the wine. I don't know where she is. I only know she isn't here, on this plane with us.”
Moc Mien rubbed his forehead. “Well. Thanks for informing me, I suppose.” He put his glass on the table and stood up. Turned to leave.
I'm going to find her,” I said quietly to his back, “and then I'm going to go and get her. And I need your help.” I looked at Greytooth and Keel. “I need all of your help.”
Moc Mien turned around.
Just what sort of help is it you think I can offer, mage?”
First, I want you to give Keel a pass for the time we will remain in Bellarius. I'll need him to run errands for me. I need him to be able to do that without turning up at my door in pieces.”
How long were you planning on staying?”
I don't know. Perhaps a week. Perhaps a month. Until I no longer need the Citadel.” Until I could take, and break, one of the creatures created by the power of the rift.
I can probably accommodate you. It won't be cheap.”
I didn't expect it to be free. Second, I want to hire your crew. It will be for a very dangerous job.”
What do you want to steal, and who from?”
I don't want to steal anything. I want to trap something.”
Trap? We're thieves, not hunters.”
Do you see many hunters in Bellarius? I need tough men who know the streets, alleys, rooftops and hiding places in the city. Your crew will serve.”
Not unless I say they will.”
You know what I mean.”
What are you hunting?”
One of the creatures that was spawned the night Amra disappeared. One of the dark mishaps created by the Telemarch's rift. Which one doesn't really matter.”
So you want me to ignore Keel's existence, and you want my crew to kill something.”
No. Not kill. I need it alive.”
By all the dead gods, what for? Those things are deadly.”
I need it to lead me to Amra.”
How in hells will that work?”
It's complicated and magical. Just trust me. If I can capture one and break it to my will, I'm virtually certain I can use it to lead me to Amra, or at least very near.”
Greytooth cleared his throat. “Have you discovered a way to walk the planes, then?”
Me? No. But there's a book that might tell me how.”
Oh, really. And where might this book be found?”
In the Black Library.”
Greytooth stared at me, open-mouthed. Finally he said “You've lost your mind.”
What?” Keel asked. “What's the Black Library?”
I have to second the kid, unfortunately,” Moc Mien added. “Never heard of it. Not that I'm big on libraries.”
The Black Library,” said Greytooth, never taking his eyes off mine, “is in Thraxys. The fifth hell.”
So let me get this straight,” Moc Mien said. “You want to trap one of the nightmares that's been terrorizing the Girdle and house-break it. Then you're going to go to a library in the fifth hell and steal a book that will tell you how to wander around other planes of existence. Have I got the basics down so far?”
Perfectly.”
That's not a plan. That's not even wishing. That's pure, impossible madness.”
Greytooth cleared his throat. “I'm assuming you'll be using your new, notional pet as a bloodhound of some sort, to lead you to wherever Amra is.”
That's right.”
Moc Mien looked at the Philosopher. “You're not taking him seriously?'
I am. Unfortunately. It is both the strength and weakness of mages that we deal in making the impossible become the inevitable. Strength, because without that level of self-belief, we could work no magic whatsoever. Weakness because we sometimes bite off more than we can chew. Holgren is not necessarily mad, despite what I said earlier.”
Are you joking? I'm not even a mage and I can see holes in that plan big enough to put my foot through.”
Nothing Holgren has said so far is impossible. Incredibly dangerous, yes. Almost sure to get him killed, certainly. But not impossible. Though I do get the feeling he is leaving out some rather large portions of his plan.”
Oh?” I asked. “Such as?”
Such as how you're going to domesticate a monster. Such as how you're going to gain access to the infernal regions in the first place. Such as how you intend to to battle your way past the endless hordes of demons hungering for a taste of living human flesh, rather than the pale, wispy sustenance of a human soul. Such as—”
Details, magus, merely details.”
He snorted. “Does that mean you don't yet know how you're going to deal with those details, or does it mean you don't want to discuss them?”
Mostly the latter, a bit of the former,” I admitted.
Greytooth just shook his head. Silence crept into the room. Keel finally broke it.
So does all that mean Holgren is rats-in-a-bag crazy or not?”

~ ~ ~

The 'party' broke up a short while later. Greytooth and Moc Mien left thinking I was probably insane, but in the end Moc Mien was convinced to help by the promise of large amounts of gold, and Greytooth by simple hope. Keel was also leaning towards crazy, but he was too young and inexperienced to make a final judgment. Even if he became convinced I'd lost my mind, I was fairly certain he'd stick around out of loyalty.
Gold, hope, and loyalty. Powerful enough motivators to convince three people to attempt what seemed impossible. Explaining that I didn't need any of them to accompany me on my trip to Thraxys hadn't hurt either.
I knew more about the eleven hells, in all probability, than anyone else alive. I'd studied them in depth after I'd sold my soul, looking for some way out of the bargain. Then I'd died, and gone to the third hell. What I'd discovered there wasn't something I could talk much about; some sort of compulsion had accompanied my resurrection. But one thing I'd learned before my resurrection gave me hope that my plan to raid the Black Library might have a chance of succeeding.
The hells were empty. Or at least the third one had been. I was willing to bet my life and my soul that the others were, as well.
Oh, there were still damned souls pouring in, but there were no demons or daemons there to receive them, to torment them, to feast on them.
They were all gone.
Where they'd gone or why, I hadn't a clue. Whether they would be back, the same. But their disappearance gave me at least a hope of success. If they were still disappeared, I would not have to battle my way across the third, fourth and fifth hells to reach the Black Library—a battle I would have had no chance of winning. Even without their native denizens, trekking across three hells would be a perilous journey.
I would have to enter at Gholdoryth, the third hell. It was the only one with a gate I had relatively easy access to.
First things first. Trap and train one of the rift-spawn. The Citadel had everything I need to do so, if it could be done. Once I'd accomplished that, I could leave Bellarius behind and return to Lucernis.
I wouldn't be spending much time in Lucernis, however, if all went well. Just long enough to drop Keel off safe and sound at home, visit a couple of powerful, unpredictable beings, and reopen the hell gate that the mad sorcerer Bosch had created just off the Jacos Road.
Inspector Kluge would be very unhappy about that, if he found out. Best he didn't find out.
From there....
Well. Step by step.
I left Keel by the fire with a nod and climbed the stairs, magelight guiding my way. I passed, once again, the cloth-covered easel on the second level, as utterly uninterested in the Telemarch's artistic endeavors as I had been when Amra and I had first climbed the stairs to his inner sanctum.
I stopped off at the library on the third floor and took a book at random from the dusty shelves, not bothering to look at the title, if it even had one. Many of them did not. It didn't matter. If I did not read to distract myself before sleep, I wouldn't sleep. Facts and suppositions and memories and plans and fragments of plans would parade themselves endlessly across the stage of my mind, and soon enough it would be dawn and I would not have slept a wink. I could function without it, but I would never be sure I was as sharp as I needed to be. Especially if I needed to cast a spell extemporaneously.
Magic was an unforgiving art, and failure due to inattention could mean sudden death; mine or others'. That much Yvoust, my master, had beaten into me early. He hadn't been wrong in that, though he had been in too much else.
I went to 'bed' in the inner sanctum, as I had every night since Amra had vanished. Keel may have felt uncomfortable there, but I found it peaceful. I hardened the magelight, propped myself in a corner and started to read what seemed to be a treatise on the measurement of time, written by some dead Gosland philosopher. It was all rubbish and nearly impenetrable, which was exactly what I needed.

I got almost two solid hours of sleep. Hurvus would not have been happy with me. I forgot to remove the patch.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Mad January Sale

You like a good deal, right? Of course you do. Everybody likes a good deal.

Never once in my life have I heard someone say "I refuse to buy this [insert item of interest] at a reduced price. No sirree Bob, it's full price for me or I walk. In fact, I would prefer it if you charged me more for [insert item of interest]!"

Well, it just so happens that on January 1st, 2015, there will be 47 items of interest available for the reduced price of 99 cents. One of those items will be my own Pulled Spat Knocked - the omnibus collection of the first three Amra Thetys books.

Since I didn't get you anything for Christmas, I thought maybe a New Year's Day deal could be a thing.

You can find out more at Patty Jansen's Science Fiction & Fantasy Mad January Sale page.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

The Known World: Western Sulamel

One thing about fantasy, an awesome map can enrich a reader's appreciation of the story. This, unfortunately, is not an awesome map. But it does cover much of what Amra and Holgren have been to or mentioned, and a lot more besides. (Click to embiggen.)

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Amra Book 4 Excerpt

The first draft  of the next installment in the Amra series is coming along nicely, so I thought I'd share the first chapter. Remember, this is only the first draft. Anything and everything is subject to change before publication, including the current working title, which is The thief Who Wasn't There.

That said, I'm fairly happy with this, and with what comes after. Enjoy!

###

One


“There's a bunch of soldiers downstairs,” the boy, Keel, announced. I ignored him. Insinuating my own intangible, extemporaneously fashioned command key into the Telemarch's wards was a finicky, delicate business. It would have been impossible were he still alive. It required intense concentration, and it wasn't the safest magic I'd ever attempted, but if I could co-opt the deadly cobweb of defenses the Telemarch had laced into the stones of the Citadel, I wouldn't have to worry about anybody interfering with or interrupting my true work.

The mesh of commands woven about and through the tower was so dense and multi-hued, it was difficult to see through it to the physical world. Thank the dead gods I didn't need two eyes to see in three dimensions while working with the Art.

Gently, gently, I pushed with my will against the node I was virtually certain commanded the wards, and perhaps much more. If I was right, well and good. If I was wrong—

Well. Being wrong about it would not be healthy.

I could have set up my own wards, nearly as puissant as the Telemarch's, given time. I did not have time. Every day, every hour that passed might mean Amra's death. But the time for haste had passed, and all my hurrying over the past week hadn't brought her back.

“Uh, Magister Holgren? Magus?”

“Just call me Holgren,” I told the boy, not for the first time. “What do they want?”

“They wanted to see the Telemarch. I told them he'd karked it. Then they said they wanted to see whoever was living here now.”

“How do they know anybody is living here now?” I said, not really paying attention. I'd almost got the command key to be accepted by the Telemarch's wards. How much more it would afford me access to, I didn't yet know.

“I don't know. Probably all the weird lights and, and stuff.”

Some of the spells I'd tried to locate Amra with had been rather flashy. Others had been incredibly loud. None of them had given me what I wanted.

“Magus? They said if you don't come down, they're going to come up.”

With a mental and mostly imaginary click, the key finally punctured the disturbingly elastic membrane of the node and slotted perfectly, as far as I could sense, into the mesh of the Telemarch's commands. It was enough for now. Later I could explore just what I did and did not have access to, beyond the outer wards. For now I had to deal with the locals.

They probably wanted their Citadel back. They weren't going to get it until I was finished with it. Messengers had come over the last few days, petitioning the Telemarch to take sides in the civil war that was burning sullenly through the city's streets. I'd given Keel instructions to ignore them.

Soldiers, however, were a different matter.

I stood up, stretched, then with a swipe of my hand broke the circle of dust and blood I'd laid down for the work I'd just completed. I followed the boy downstairs to talk to the soldiers.

“What faction?” I asked him as we descended.

“Council. Steyner's men.” Two of the Council of Three had survived the chaos, madness, magic and rioting that had engulfed Bellarius since the night of Amra's disappearance. Both of them believed they should be the next Syndic. The third faction, the Just Men, wanted to set up a democracy, Nine Cities-style. While I was rooting for the rebels in an abstract sort of way, I didn't have time for politics. The city of Bellarius and all the rest of Bellaria could have any style of government it wanted, or none at all, as far as I was concerned. Just so long as the various factions stayed out of my way and left me to my work.

“Uh, Magister?” Keel said as we approached the main door.

“What is it, Keel?”

“Did you maybe want to put on your eye patch?”

“Ah. Yes. Thanks.” I'd taken it off when I'd started work that morning. It was still new, and distracting. I hadn't wanted to be distracted. Well, no more distracted than losing an eye the week before made me. I pulled the thing out of my pocket and slipped it on.

“Maybe a little more to the right, magus,” Keel commented. I gave him a glare. And adjusted it.
He nodded in satisfaction and opened the door. Gray, cheerless light dribbled in out of a gray, cheerless sky. Outside were twenty halberdiers in Steyner's maroon and yellow. They were led by a captain in half-plate.

“You are the mage who has taken up residence here?” the captain asked, after looking me over.

“I am.”

“You are required to vacate the Citadel immediately, by order of Syndic-Elect Gabul Steyner.”

“That's not going to happen,” I said.

“Then we will be forced to remove you.”

“You'll be forced to try. I warn you, captain, it won't go well for you or your men.” With a mental whisper I activated the Citadel's base wards, the primary layer of protections the Telemarch had built into the tower using the Art. The ones meant to repel physical threats.

The captain stepped to the side and ordered his men to enter and evict me. I stood inside the threshold and watched, arms folded. I was curious as to what the Telemarch had wrought. I knew this layer of wards' purpose, but not how it would be made manifest. I hadn't had the time to study the wards in detail.

The first pair of halberdiers tried to enter, and were rebuffed, as if they had encountered an invisible wall. They tried again, with the same results.

“Hack at it,” their captain told them.

“Oh, yes, do,” I said. One of the halberdiers glared at me. The other wore an expression that suggested he wasn't getting paid enough. He stepped back to give his compatriot room to swing.
The first hauled back with his overgrown axe and brought it down with not-inconsiderable force on the doorway's invisible ward. The halberd was immediately ripped out of his hands. It flew, spinning and with impressive speed, out and away from the Citadel, the haft cracking the halberdier in the face along the way. The man fell down in a moaning, bleeding heap. The halberd fell somewhere in the Girdle. I hoped that it hadn't split somebody's head open. In any case, it would likely end up in the hands of the rebels, so all in all I was not unsatisfied with the outcome.

“Right then,” I said to the captain. “If you're done wasting my time, I have work to do.”

“The Citadel is the rightful possession of the ruler of Bellaria!” he said in a tone that was verging on a whine.

“Yes, well. When he or she shows up, perhaps I'll be more accommodating,” I replied. “Meanwhile, if you bother me again, I'll turn you into a pink mist.”

I closed the door in his flushed face.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Not Poughkeepsie, No; Nor Elfland Either





In 1973 Ursula Le Guin published an essay on the importance of writing style in fantasy. That piece was titled “From Elfland To Poughkeepsie” and it has been oft-quoted and remarked upon by those who care about such things. I, too, care about such things, though I did not realize I cared about them until I bought a paperback copy of “The Wind's Four Quarters” at the age of seventeen and read what she had to say in that essay.

It starts like this:


Elfland is what Lord Dunsany called the place. It is also called [...] by many other names.

Let us consider Elfland as a great national park, a vast and beautiful place where a person goes by himself, on foot, to get in touch with reality in a special, private, profound fashion. But what happens when it is considered merely as a place to “get away to”?

What happens, according to Le Guin, is what happens at all national parks. People drive in in their air-conditioned mobile homes, bringing all their real-world accoutrements with them, and never really experience the place for what it is.

At first it seems as if she's talking about readers of fantasy, but we soon come to understand that she's talking about modern day (yes, I still consider those writing in 1973 to be 'modern day') fantasy writers. She then goes on to humiliate author Katherine Kerr for writing a passage in one of her books that, by changing only four words, could have been taken from a modern political thriller.

Le Guin takes great pains to explain why this approach is very wrong:

Seen thus, as art, not spontaneous play, [fantasy's] affinity is not with daydream, but with dream. It is a different approach to reality, an alternative technique for apprehending and coping with existence. It is not antirational but pararational; not realistic but surrealistic, superrealistic, a heightening of reality.

No pressure there.

She takes no pains whatsoever, on the other hand, in separating out what we would today, by and large, term sword & sorcery, and what she calls heroic fantasy, as unworthy of discussion:

There would be no use at all in talking about what is generally passed off as “heroic fantasy,” all the endless Barbarians with names like Barp and Klod, and the Tarnsmen and the Klansmen and all the rest of them—there would be nothing whatever to say. (Not in terms of art, that is [...])

Le Guin goes on, of course, and gives many examples of what she considers the true fantasy writing style, from the past masters of the genre.

It's taken me 26 years to realize just what bothered me so profoundly about “From Elfland to Poughkeepsie.” It isn't that Le Guin had (and still has) such fixed ideas about art or the genre. Everyone is allowed those, and Le Guin far more than others, considering her iconic status and undeniable talent.

No, what bothered me about Le Guin's Elfland was in the little things she said that betray a larger issue in her perceptions of what fantasy should and should not be. When berating Kerr for her not-sufficiently-fantasy fantasy novel, she makes this comment about one of the characters who says “I could have told you that at Cardosa”:

Speech expresses character. It does so whether the speaker or the author knows it or not. When I hear a man say “I could have told you that at Cardosa,” or at Poughkeepsie, or wherever, I think I know something about that man. He is the kind who says, “I told you so.”

Nobody who says, “I told you so” has ever been, or will ever be, a hero.

The Lords of Elfland are true lords, the only true lords, the kind that do not exist on this earth: their lordship is the outward sign or symbol of real inward greatness.

There, in those 101 words, Le Guin betrays her own character as a writer, whether she knows it or not; her own prejudices and presuppositions emerge. First, that a fantasy hero cannot/would not use pedestrian language (and to be fair, the whole essay is trying, in part, to make that point) and second, in an unstated, perhaps unintended, but quite direct way, that the heroes of Elfland must also be the Lords of Elfland.

It is inferred, this idea that a hero must be nobility, a ruler, one of the elite (though in a twisted sort of way it makes sense, since the nobility of Elfland can presumably afford diction and rhetoric tutors, thus ensuring that they will never speak such pedestrian, unheroic sentences as “I could have told you that at Cardosa.”)

But I wondered at seventeen, and still wonder today, why someone like me would ever want to visit somewhere like Le Guin's Elfland, a place where common speech precludes you from being heroic, where, if you are not a Lord, you are a spear carrier, unworthy of your words being set down, however much they might mean to you personally.

In Le Guin's Elfland, one is not allowed to merely ask for a cold leg of rabbit, oh no. One cannot merely say, “I am hungry; share your food, won't you?” One must ask for it heroically:

Detestable to me, truly, is loathsome hunger; abominable an insufficiency of food upon a journey. Mournful, I declare to you, is such a fate as this, to one of my lineage and nurture!”

Heroic, or bombastic? I think you can guess what my opinion is.

The entire point of “From Elfland to Poughkeepsie” is, ostensibly, that the would-be writer of fantasy must tread a very narrow path, sanctified by the stylists of the past. It is that, more than anything, which bothered me at age seventeen, though I could not at the time phrase it in such a concise, rational way. 

Ultimately, Le Guin's Elfland is an incredibly elitist place. It is not a national park. It is a game preserve for some great lord, with stiff penalties for trespassing, and even stiffer ones for poaching.

But the truth is, Elfland did not suddenly spring into being when Lord Dunsany first whipped out his pen. It is a far older, far more wild place, and it is inhabited not only by lords and those creatures that give them the opportunity to be heroic. Its roots, the life that makes it “superrealistic” can be found in all the old fairy tales, from Snow White to The Three Ivans. Elfland was breathed into life, literally, by peasants and commoners and passed down orally from generation to generation by those who had no notion of what fantasy style “ought to be.”

Yes, there is something that makes Elfland a special, dangerous place. But I'm terribly sorry to say it isn't whether an ostensible hero of Elfland ever utters the phrase “I could have told you that at Cardosa.” And when we move away from the idea that the lords are automatically the heroes, so too will we move out of the game preserve and into the wider, wilder expanses of Elfland which, as G.K. Chesterton once said, 'is a world at once of wonder and of war.'

Le Guin rails against pedestrian language in a genre that should, by rights, be something special, something magical. I agree whole-heartedly with the special and magical part. But I believe she missed her mark in “From Elfland to Poughkeepsie.” She mistook special for exclusive. Worse, she mistook form for content. After all, when have heroic words ever made a satisfying substitute for heroic deeds?

We, as readers, and hopefully as humans, judge a hero by their actions, not by their lineage or the way they use second person singular. We judge writers of fantasy by the sense of wonder they engender in us, and by the depth of engagement and immersion the world they have devised affords us. We may well turn to fantasy for the “distancing from the ordinary” that Le Guin assumes, but I'm completely certain such a distancing does not require the load of stylistic prescription that Le Guin tells us it does. Most fantasy readers want a good story, well-told, that transports them to Elfland. That's all they want, and they aren't terribly concerned about whether they go on foot, on dragon's back, or in a minivan. The destination is the journey.


I could have told thee that at Poughkeepsie, Ursula.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Ahem. Tap-tap. Is this thing on?

Just a brief couple of announcements:

Item One: The first two books in the Amra Thetys series are currently free, as in gratis, no money down, no payments for 9,999 months:




Kobo: Not available because Kobo is weird & glitchy & the book just disappeared one day & I've been too busy writing to bother to sort it out.

Item the second: It may interest you to know that the third installment in the series is currently being edited, and is now available for pre-order. It'll ship on December 10th, 2014, but you could order it, like, today. You know, if you want to make sure you get yours before they run out on the release day. Christmas season and all. Only so many electrons in the universe.



Right. I think that about covers it. I now return you to your regularly scheduled internet skiving.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Comes The Conqueror: New epic fantasy serial

New to everywhere but the inside of my head: Comes The Conqueror, an epic fantasy in serial form. This one I started more than a decade ago, but it was so vast in scope, and so strange in its premise (no spoilers, sorry) that it frightened me, and I shelved it.

Things are different now. I can write it, which I had no confidence in being able to do more than a decade ago. I can also self-publish it, which means I don't have to rein in the weirder aspects of the story in order to get it published by a traditional publisher.

The first two episodes are free, and live at Smashwords in your favorite flavor of format:

Episode 1: Blood & Roses

Episode 2: Dead Birds

Episode 3, in case you were interested, is called "The Knot" and will be available in a few days.

Oh, and Episode 3 is where the weirdness really starts to kick in.

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

37,109

After years of telling authors they could not give out the numbers of free downloads at the Apple iBookstores, a few days ago Smashwords downloaded all this information to authors' accounts, apropos of nothing. I won't get into bashing Smashwords; it does no good and changes nothing. Instead, I'll focus on the numbers:

My 2012 Apple sales (free and paid), were 37,109. Subtract the 385 paid downloads I had there last year, and that's 36,724 ebooks given away at Apple, globally. Throw in another 8,000 and change from Barnes & Noble, and I gave away damn near 45,000 ebooks.

I'm still trying to figure out what this means, to be honest. My stated goal was to break out of obscurity. I don't see how I could have done much better than that: There are tens of thousands of people who've read (or at least downloaded) my stuff now, who hadn't in 2011.

Maybe this means it's time for 'free' to come to an end. Maybe I should be contrarian and give even more stuff away for free. Maybe it means nothing at all, except people will, hoarder-like, take whatever you're passing out, whether they intend to read it or not. I don't know.

I do know that I've got some writing to do.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Amra #3: An excerpt


When Hurvus returned it was full dark. He’d obviously filled his skin while he was out. His hands had stopped trembling. He brewed a willow bark tea for the boy and forced it down his throat, then put some foul-smelling plaster on my cheek and a liniment on my hands. Then we ate, he and I. Black bread, clam soup from a clay pot, a quarter wheel of a young gray cheese. When it was plain that Kiel wasn’t going to be eating anything, Hurvus ate his share of the soup and more of the cheese as well, and wrapped the rest up in cleanish linen.
When he’d sucked the last crumbs from his graying beard, he looked up at me with those bloodshot, still-clever eyes of his and said “People looking for you. At the public house.”
I felt a knife of fear slide into my guts, but didn’t let it show.
Do they know where to find me?”
No. Not from me.”
Why not?”
You still owe me two silver. Besides, didn’t like the look of ‘em. Or the smell.”
Blacksleeves?”
He shook his head. “No. Don’t know what. Don’t know what you’re into. Don’t want to be part of it.”
We’ll be gone in the morning.”
He nodded his head, then stoked up the fire a bit. With the falling sun, the temperature was dropping. After a time he put the poker away, put a bottle of cheap stuff by his chair and settled in.
What did they look like, these people who were looking for me?”
Two of ‘em. One a bruiser, shaved head. The other a weaselly merchant type, expensive clothes, silk and ermine and lace. The both of ‘em smelled like the marshes. Were asking after a woman looked hard, maybe with an injured gutter boy, maybe alone.”
Marshes, eh?” Smugglers? Who knew? “Did anyone else pipe up?”
They weren’t offering a reward, only threats. People ‘round Hardside, they don’t pay much attention to such. Unless they got a personal stake.”
That much at least hadn’t changed. I sat and stared at the fire while he filled his pipe, thinking. They’d get around to checking bone-setters soon enough, whoever they were. Hurvus would be on their list. Best I moved on with Keil before dawn. I couldn’t just leave the kid. He didn’t know anything about me, but that wouldn’t stop them from beating him to death to find it out, most likely, if they had anything to do with the fire. And I still had questions to ask him. I had too many questions all around.
They must have set someone to watch Keil, else they wouldn’t have known I might be with him or that he was injured. That they didn’t know if I was still with him probably meant they’d lost track of us in the confusion following the explosion. In any case, they had the brains to search Hardside. Which was too bad, really. I prefer any possible enemy to be as stupid as mossy rocks.
Well, if they were looking for me low, and I wasn’t ready to face them, then I’d hie myself up on high. I had enough to take a room at one of the posh inns near the top of the Girdle. And I had enough to hire a few thugs of my own, if it came to it. I just didn’t want it to.
Mainly what I needed was information. There was too much going on, and I didn’t understand any of it.
I glanced over at Hurvus. He had nodded off in his chair, pipe gone out and dangling from his mouth. I gently nudged his chair with a boot tip, then harder when that had no effect. He sat up, snorting and blinking.
I have a few questions. I'll give you gold if you can answer them.”
He wiped his eyes with a thumb. “I'll answer if I can.”
You heard of anyone masquerading as Ansen lately, come back from the dead?”
He snorted. “Every year, it seems. The Syndic and his Council don't get any less popular as time goes on only because once you hit bottom, there's no further to go.
So what's the story of the latest Ansen, then?”
I honestly couldn't say, beyond slogans scrawled on walls. 'Return the people's power' and such like.”
All right. What about the Child Robber?”
His face got a little hard. “Some monster's snatching children, has been for at least two years. They disappear, no sign, no clue left. And they disappear utterly. No bodies have been found. Makes me think slaver, but who knows? The marsh is frightening deep in places.”
I grunted. He wasn't wrong.
If I wanted to find somebody, on the quiet, who's the best person to talk to?”
The Hag; who else?”
Kerf's crooked staff, she's still alive?” She'd been ancient when I was a girl, and more than half legend. But I knew where to find her. Everybody in Hardside knew where to find her. It made it easier to avoid her.
Let me ask you a question,” Hurvis said. “Why do you want to know all this?”
I thought about it a long time before I answered him. Decided to be truthful, Kerf only knows why.“I was born and raised in Hardside, Hurvis. I know you know it; you can hear it in my speech as surely as I can hear it in yours.”
He nodded. “There's no mistaking the Hardside drawl, sure. Though yours has gone soft around the edges.”
I've been away a long time, and coming back's not something I ever planned on doing,” I replied.
So why have you? I know it's your business and none of mine, but if I were less of a wreck and managed to climb out, nor hells nor the dead gods could drag me back. But it's too late for the likes of me.” He took a swig from the bottle, as if to prove his point.
I have a debt to pay,” I told him, “and the marker finally got called in.”
He looked over at me, and even drink-fogged, his eyes were keen. “You sit there in your raw silk trousers and doeskin tunic, carrying knives the like I've never seen except on noblemen who had no least clue how to use 'em properly, wearing boots that cost what most people make in a year, offering me gold to telly you what anyone would tell you for the time of day, and you tell me you came to Hardside to pay a debt? Don't talk rubbish. Whatever you are, however you made your moil, you could've sent somebody else to settle it.”
I shook my head. “It's not that kind of debt. And coin won't cover it.”
What will, then?”
I don't know. Maybe nothing. Maybe blood. Probably blood. Maybe my life.” Whatever Theiner needed, I owed. And would pay. And that, I finally admitted to myself, was why I hadn't wanted Holgren along.
He was quiet for a while. When he spoke, his voice was rough with drink, and with some obscure emotion. “I had a debt like that, once.”
I cocked my head. “How'd you settle it?”
He smiled, but there was nothing of humor in it, just some old, private pain. “I never did. Or I still am. Can't decide which it is anymore.” And he took a long, long drink from the bottle and stumbled off to his bed without another word.
I banked the fire and dug out a blanket from my pack, then went to sleep there on the floor, one of Holgren’s gift-knives in each hand.

Friday, May 03, 2013

Status: Editing

Just a short note, Dear Reader, to inform you that I am still alive, and working, if only tangentially. Mostly what I'm doing is editing, going back over previously released material with a fine-toothed comb, and finding an embarrassing number of typos, especially in The Thief Who Pulled On Trouble's Braids.

It started out as a general once-over in preparation to get on with Amra #3; looking for continuity issues (did The Blade That Whispers Hate scar her hand permanently or not? That sort of thing).

I don't know if I'm avoiding the writing with the copy editing or not. I just know it needs to be done.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Status Update: functional, if not optimal

Dear Readers,

I'm alive. In some ways I'm healthier than I've been for years. I've lost a fair amount of weight, most of it fat, through a changed diet, exercise, and admittedly a certain indifference towards the gustatory arts. Physically I'm stronger and have more energy than I have had in years. I'd like to put some more weight on, this time muscle. We'll see.

What else? I sleep more now. Enough to give me mental balance, evenif it isn't unbroken or untroubled. I dislike having to resort to pharmacology to get it, but I'm not silly enough to argue with results. Emotionally I'm still pretty raw, but I've gained some real insights into what I feel and why. I no longer feel as if the simple act of waking up is waking on the edge of a precipice. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, I have only a little advice, but it is heartfelt: be honest with your self. Thoroughly honest. But infuse your honesty with compassion. Often the pain, guilt or shame you feel has its roots deep down, and springs from the actions of those around you when you were small, or vulnerable. Find compassion for the self that endured those misfortunes, and see your actions in that light. Then resolve to to act with compassion, for yourself and those in hour life, moving forward. Whatever guilt or shame you bear, don't let it smother you. You can only make amends going forward. You cannot change the past, much as you want to. You can only let the past inform your future.

Finally, writing. I'm doing a little. I write when I am moved to, on subjects that catch my interest. I'm not forcing it. I was truly afraid for a while that I would never write again, and am still easing back into it, so I have not forced deadlines on myself for all the various projects I left in medias res. they will come, in time, if they are meant to. Amra and Holgren especially I have no doubt will continue to report in, though their adventures may well not be what readers might expect. And Marie from Waste Land has been on my mind lately. When it's time for me to pick up the pen again for them, I won't keep it from you.

Before I work on their stories, though, I have to work on mine.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Grimdark: excerpt

An excerpt

They came through the Riddlemarch, as they always did, at the tail end of winter; enough had grown hungry by then to consider their offer. To see them in worn but warm clothing, riding instead of slogging through the muck, to smell venison or rabbit roasting on the spit over the fire of their camp on the village swards, and to think the dangers of the Grimdark were not so fearsome, perhaps, as the brutal chill and the gnawing hunger that was a fact of life on the borderlands.

Still, most would think once, twice, and turn their faces away from the men Lord Coalstar sent to recruit. There was a price to be paid when you took the coin, and the clothes, and the mount, and the food. There was a price that came with the plain, wicked-sharp sword, the bow of yew, the cold-iron mail. A price that, soon or late, would only be met when you breathed your last.

Many considered in the cold and the muck of the late Riddlemarch winter, but few consented.

Some, too young to consent, were given over to the lean, hollow-cheeked mean who wore the badge of Coalstar on their breastplates or tabards, and the red-gold coin was passed to a parent's grimy hand. Some cried; parents, children. But not often. The Riddlemarch was not a place that encouraged tears. And when Coalstar's men rode away with their new brother- or sister-to-be, not as many as you might think looked back on what they left, which was little enough. Yet few looked forward, either. What lay ahead was the Redoubt, and eventually, when they were deemed ready, the Grimdark. 

Jorig was one such. Neither looking forward nor back, he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the deep green woolen cloak of the man he was mounted behind, and pushed away his mother's face, and the sullen faces of his older brother and sister. Too, pushed away the words spoken by his mother when Coalstar's man had approached her.

"Aye, you c'n have him. This one thinks. Has dreams. No place for such a one here, innit? Takes him, an' I'll feed these two other posts with your lord's gold. For a time, at least."

And so it was done. 

None had spoken to him, and none would until nightfall, when the camp was set.

Jorig was the only recruit that season.

Friday, March 15, 2013

This is why I write

This 5 star review from persephone/kor at the Australia iTunes, the second Amra book. This is why, when somebody gets what I'm trying to do:

Short version: Awesome. Love love love love love and adore.

Long version: Have fallen in love with intriguing characters who seem real despite being much more awesome (or interestingly and somehow endearingly awful) than reality allows for. Fallen in love with a world created from the ground up, with a class system and values familiar enough to grasp but different enough to enjoy. Reminds me of many of my favourites, but not enough to spoil the story. Michael McClung, if you die without finishing this series, I will track you down wherever you end up and shake you. Kidding. Mostly.

Thank you, Persephone/kor. Tonight you gave me a little strength to keep on :) I hate being shaken.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

status: rebooting

What is the definition of insanity, according to (I think) Einstien? Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

So I'm currently in the process of evaluating my life and finding the crazy bits. And hopefully eliminating them. I'll keep you posted. Meanwhile, remember that I love you, Dear Reader, and not at all in a creepy way.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Hiatus

My friends,

If you've been following this blog over the last few months, it will come as no surprise that I've been having a hard time of it lately, for all sorts of reasons. I like to keep most of my personal stuff separate from the blog here, except for general noise. SomethingSticky, in this latest incarnation, is about my writing, and associated posts. But when my personal life affects my writing life, then I feel it is appropriate to give those who visit here a heads-up.

So heads-up: I doubt I'll be getting much writing done any time soon. Life continues to kick me in the guts, which makes it difficult in the extreme to concentrate on plot, characterization, dialog etc. My head and my heart are not in it right now, and even if I were to force myself to write, I would either turn out inferior prose, or would believe I was, which functionally amounts to the same thing. I'll keep you posted, and thanks for caring.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Ignore this post

No really, ignore it. I'm just writing it because I need to write something. Anything.

My teeth hurt. Left side molars, up and down. The kidney stone(s) chime in occasionally, like a Greek chorus of pain. The pain medication is 1) not terribly effective and 2) makes me feel like I have a fever coming on. In addition, I've got a fever coming on.

Money. I have none. I've been here before, I'll most liekly be here again, but it never gets any easier. And I've got bills to pay and obligations to attend to that require money. Not to mention a few medical things that require money that i do not have. It's never far from my thoughts, a low-grade anxiety that just doesn't let up.

I need a haircut. Also, I now have, suddenly, gray hair. Less suddenly, a paunch.

And I can't write.




Saturday, February 09, 2013

Draft 2 Digital vs Smashwords: No contest


So I've been testing out Draft 2 Digital, and can honestly say that up to this point it blows Smashwords away in three very important areas: Ease of use, reporting, and customer service.

Ease of use: You don't need to know how to do anything except make a word document. You send it to them, and it will automatically be formatted. You choose what sorts of extra material you want- dedication, teaser pages, etc- and these are generated for you. All this vs Smashwords' meatgrinder.

Reporting: Smashwords' philosophy seems to be you'll get what we decide to give you, when we decide to give it to you (if we decide to give it to you).

D2D is radically different. Near-real time reporting for every title at every outlet, be it publishing or sales, paid or free. This difference alone absolutely crushes Smashwords, and shows just how pathetic their reporting 'ability' really is.

Customer service: Smashwords' Mark Coker has made a big deal about adding staff to his customer support, and has absolutely ignored the fact that (At least for me and according to others' anecdotal experiences) just because your customer service request is responded to faster, doesn't mean your problem is actually resolved faster- or at all. Smashwords' customer service is essentially kabuki theater for every issue I've ever brought to them. I've stopped trying.

D2D on the other hand a) actually responds more quickly than Smashwords, b) demonstrates that they actually understand what the problem is, and c)either does something about it or tells you they can't, and why, and what you should try instead.

As the volume of users increase, will D2D be able to maintain this level of service? I fervently hope so. But the truth is, no matter what happens, they can't get any worse than Smashwords. They just had to show up to win this race.

This only leaves one question in deciding whether to dump Smashwords completely, but it's a big one: Gettin' paid. The fact is, I have never had a problem getting my money from Smashwords, while D2D is still a cypher. But I can't imagine putting in the kind of work that obviously went into making D2D such a winner, only to fall down when it comes to the one thing people will have no patience for if you screw it up.

In my opinion, Smashwords is toast unless they do a lot of soul-searching. Given my experiences over the last 18 months or so, I don't really see that happening.

Friday, January 25, 2013

This space intentionally left blah*

What happens when you have a few days of enforced idleness? In my case, the expectation is getting some writing done. Did that happen?

Not so much, it turns out.

Today was a day where absolutely nothing had to get done in my life - a rare thing indeed. It's now 10 pm. I got no forward progress in on any of my fiction. I did edit, format and upload my (free) phonics primer, but that's work that has been done for some time, creatively speaking.

I need to get Amra #3 moving. All I've gotten done all week is a map of Bellarius that I didn't actually need, and only drew out to confirm that, yes, I knew the layout and yes, I'm a sucky mapmaker.

I need to get the Waste Land sequel moving. Zilch.

I need-- oh, you get the idea.

*I can't even create a decent post title right now. I think something has eaten my creativity.

Monday, January 14, 2013

2013


Previously I listed out how many sales I would need to make at different price points in order to make it to minimum wage money as a writer. And that was instructive and all, but sales are not something that are easily corraled. Like cats, they come when they feel like it, an there is only so much you can do to coerce- er, influence sales to come your way.

With 2012 all over but the crying, it's time to consider what to do about 2013, writing-wise.

The accounting department* has informed me that in the last quarter of 2012, my sales rose to 10.5% of minimum wage- the closest I've so far come to that lofty goal. My monkey brain immediately siezed on this nearly round number and informed me that this means I will need to write and release the same amount of material in 2013 as I did in 2012 to make it to 21% of MW. Sounds reasonable. If I can double my output in 2013, then I should be making 31.5% of MW, and so on.

But here's the thing: not all of my titles have been particularly successful. Short stories in particular have not sold for me. When they're free, they get downloaded, which might well lead to follow-on sales, but even at the low, low price of 99 cents (you can't actually price them lower than that, folks; the retailers won't let you) they just sort of lie there, gasping for air.

So, lesson for 2013: don't bother releasing shorts unless they're for free, or as a sequel to a successful free short. If you're giving 'em away for name recognition/exposure, make sure they're awesome, and tie them into a short story collection via an author's note at the end of the short story. Which leads me to short story collections, oddly enough.

They also don't sell all that well. Better than single short stories, though, and you can charge a little higher for them. So if you must write shorts, gather them up in a collection, put one or two out there for free, and point the reader of the free to the collection.

Novels. They're a lot of work. They're also what people are looking for. Learn to write them faster. Don't sacrifice quality, but don't whine that they're taking forever if you're wasting time having a True Blood marathon instead of writing.

I've got one that I have to finish – the third in the Amra series. Fantasy series don't take off, really, unless they're a trilogy at a minimum. So once I've got the third Amra book out the door, I can assess whether there's any monetary reason to continue with that series. Personal reasons are something else.

Nonfiction. A consistent seller for me is the reading instruction series I started. I will likely continue to release titles in this series because I (more or less) enjoy it, it's a good mental break from writing adult fiction, and each project is limited enough that completing them isn't too much of a hassel.

And for 2013 I'll be experimenting with a new story format, the serial.

I'll be honest- I'm not all that fond of serials, as a reader. Too many writers use the serial format (badly in terms of structure) in order to extract more money from the reader. They take a novel-length work and chop it up into pieces in order to generate more sales. But a serial has its own structure that's distinctly different in important ways from a novel. In 2013, I'm going to try to write a proper serial (as I see them). Two, actually, with distinctly different structures, as I experiment with the serial format.

So. 2013: 1 novel, 1-2 reading instruction books, a short story collection, and an experiment or two with serial format fiction. That's my minimum, writing gods willing. I think that I can hit 30% of minimum wge this year if I do that. I'll keep you posted.

*Right next to the monkey brain department

Friday, January 11, 2013

Obviously, I'm not writing for the money.



2012 went in the right direction. No breakouts, but quarter-on-quarter sales continued to increase. Honestly it would have been freakish good luck to break out of triple digit dollar sales with only one full-length title, one short story collection and a handful of shorts on offer. 2012 was mainly about exposure.

2013, if things go well, will see the Amra series boosted to three titles, a second short story collection, and an experiment with a serial or two. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, here's the first cover for the Tarqis project: