Taking a look at some of today's news articles with a Sticky spin
Chan Cheng Khoon, 71, Convicted 3rd time for being an Asshat
Already fined for insulting two neighbors last year, the asshat who's been driving down Everitt Road property values for a decade was convicted for a third time yesterday. After flipping off his neighbors yet again, he was back in the courtroom, saying 'there's no such thing as bad press'.
The last time he was in court, Chan was fined $4,000. He told reporters then the fine was "sup sup sui", Cantonese for "no big deal."
"You know how much a half page ad would cost in the Straits Times?" Chan asked. "With a full color picture, we're talking like $15 k. Hell yeah, four grand is sup sup sui."
When asked why he was such an asshat, Mr Chan said "I'm 71 frigging years old. How else am I supposed to amuse myself? Write idiotic letters to the ST Forum? Fuck that noise."
Bush prods China on political freedom; China says 'Shut up, monkey-boy'
US President George W. Bush, who has pledged to make the promotion of freedom and democracy one of the pillars of his second term, along with making shitloads of money for his oil buddies and lying his ass off, yesterday kicked off his tour of Asia by callingon China and other Asian countries to grant more political freedom to their people.
"Why tell your people that they have no choice and get them all upset, when you can lie to them all day long and the majority will believe you?" said Mr Bush in a keynote speech in Kyoto. "I mean, totalitarianism does the trick, don't get me wrong, but there's nothing like having millions of voters actually give you the power to rape the environment and plunder the economy for your own gain. Not to mention the whole war trip. What a rush!"
Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing, speaking in Busan, South Korea, brushed off his call toBeijing to "embrace" democracy the way Taiwan did. "Totalitarianism is a lot less complicated," he remarked.
And that, dear readers, is all the news that's Sticky enough to print.