Thursday, May 24, 2012
What I want most
What I want most for my writing (want as in desire, and want as in lack; for, not from, my writing) is a few hours, or much better it be days, and barely conceivable, weeks or months wherein I can write, and concentrate on the writing. To write, and not worry about the hour, how short or long. To write without the interruption of a text message, or an email, or a phone call from the little black slab in my pocket that, for various reasons, I don't really get to turn off. I don't get to be that selfish, and if I tried, guilt/worry would drive me to switch it on again, and if I gritted my teeth and kept it off, I would get no work done anyway, and if I did manage to get work done there would be no joy in it.
But forget the phone. Just a few days or weeks where I did not have to hunch my shoulders, waiting for the next emotionally draining episode of my private life to arrive, would work wonders. If I knew that, say, all the various aspects of my emotional life would remain stable until Thursday next, I could concentrate. I could focus. I could get some shit done.