Greetings and Salutations!

Welcome to the longest-running* yet least-read** blog on the internet! Here you'll find me writing about all the things that I write about, which strikes me, just now, as somewhat recursive. In any case, enjoy :)

* not true ** probably true

Sunday, July 10, 2005


(tragically deformed m&m photo courtesy the museum of food anomalies)

So I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30 or so, just in time to miss Battlestar Galactica*. Woke up about five hours later with Cookie Monster wedged into the small of my back and a big hard plastic yellow star digging into my temple. My loving family had abandoned me to my fate and gone off to bed.

Stumbled around the house aimlessly, blinking and scratching. What to do? Surf the net. And so I
stumbled upon The Dumb Network. Specifically, the top 25 dumb laws. Here is a selection for your delectation:

  • It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. Location: United States, West Virginia (okay, first, wtf? second, why under 40 lbs? third, i know it's west virginia and all, but wtf? fourth, wait, you said LEGAL, didn't you. As in, like, legal, as in not illegal? *shudder* Fifth, why is it legal for males and not females?)
  • You can't drag a dead horse down Yonge Street on a Sunday. Location: Canada, Ontario, Toronto (so do your dead horse dragging on saturdays like god intended)
  • Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street. Location: United States, California, San Francisco
  • Idiots may not vote. Location: United States, New Mexico (actually, this is not a dumb law, just an unenforceable one. Sadly.)
  • You may not have more than two dildos in a house. Location: United States, Arizona (one would hope that two would be enough. perhaps the law should have stated no more than two per occupant, though. must consider hygiene issues)
  • It is considered an offense to shower naked. Location: United States, Florida (and you thought Singapore was prim and proper, not letting you walk around your house naked.)

In other news, do people who park like idiots piss you off? Well, I'm not saying you should order these bumper stickers and attach them to poorly parked cars. But it sure would be funny.

Here's one of the funniest rants I've read in a long, long while. And christ i want to know where to buy this pacifier for MachineBoy!

Finally, I have found my new calling. For those who were worried about what MercerMachine would do after his notice at work was over, fear not. I've decided to open a franchise!

*actually, battlestar galactica is tonight. the tv gods are merciful!


The Screwy Skeptic said...

Thank goodness I always shower wearing a full-fledged spelunking outfit.

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