Greetings and Salutations!

Welcome to the longest-running* yet least-read** blog on the internet! Here you'll find me writing about all the things that I write about, which strikes me, just now, as somewhat recursive. In any case, enjoy :)

* not true
** probably true

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Dear American Press: Boo F*&%$ing Hoo

Dear White House Press Corps and every other news agency who's been whining that Darth Cheney didn't tell you himself that he shot a guy in the face and heart-

You lazy-ass slacker losers get no sympathy from me. We got papparazzi that are able to update us when Sharon Stone gets a new frigging wrinkle on her face; you can't manage to know about the VICE PRESIDENT SHOOTING A GUY'S FACE OFF. Do your f*&%ing jobs!!!! Where were you, sitting in the White House Press Cave enjoying the free fingerfood and coffee when Cheney took off for his lawyer hunt?

The guy's been implicated in outing a CIA undercover operative and may well face an indictment: Why aren't you bird-dogging his fat ass like he owed you fifty grand and suddenly bought a one-way ticket to Tahiti?

I'll tell you why. Because you're lazy sacks of s&!t who expect to be spoonfed every drip and drab of information, which is why you guys are so frigging imbalanced and clueless when it comes to reporting the news. It's just easier to print what the White House gives out, than to actually do some JOURNALISM, isn't it?

F*&K YOU, you whining crybabies.

3 comments:

MaKan GuRu said...

White House press corp are a spoilt bunch of lazy fuckers. I think it's common knowledge that this is the cushiest assignment you can get, after all, how many reporters get to fly along with the President in Air Force One?

On the pother hand, at least they still have to write their own copy, unlike here, where the reporters are amost TOLD what to report.

The Screwy Skeptic said...

I was planning to rip into you for bashing my future career, but considering more people watch FOXnews than CNN, I really can't say much.

Just lay off the next wave of us, yeah? There are still some Woodward and Bernstein hopefuls left.

MercerMachine said...

Eh. ripping into me does no good. It's like beating a mentally disabled person. There's temporary satisfaction, but no real lesson is learned.