First Kylie, now this.
Apparently the Powers That Be have chosen me, MercerMachine, to wage war on breast cancer. How do I know this? First there was the Kylie debacle, and today this well intentioned but shudder-inducing poster. Signs and portents everywhere.
No mister pretty pink poster whose copywriter obviously skipped the part where you GO THROUGH SOME SORT OF EDITING PROCESS WHERE DOUBLE MEANINGS ARE WEEDED OUT, it just so happens that I do NOT want to give my mom a mammogram, because
a) I'm not trained,
c) I don't have the equipment laying around, oddly enough and
d) so, so very gross.
Okay, listen up people. Let me try to be as plain as I can: Breast cancer is bad. If you or someone you know has breasts, get the bearer of said breasts to have a mammogram done regularly, as breast cancer can kill you dead dead dead. Don't believe me? Read on.
UN-FUN BREAST CANCER FACTS:
Every 13 minutes a woman dies of breast cancer
Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in women between the ages of 15 and 54, and the second cause of cancer death in women 55 to 74.
WHY THE BREASTS NEAREST OR DEAREST TO YOU SHOULD GET A MAMMOGRAM:
The first sign of breast cancer usually shows up on a woman's mammogram before it can be felt or any other symptoms are present.
Ninety-six percent of women who find and treat breast cancer early will be cancer-free after five years.
Okay, God? Can I get back to blatant sensationalism now?