Greetings and Salutations!

Welcome to the longest-running* yet least-read** blog on the internet! Here you'll find me writing about all the things that I write about, which strikes me, just now, as somewhat recursive. In any case, enjoy :)

* not true ** probably true

Thursday, June 02, 2005


After careful consideration, I’ve realized that some of my dear readers believe that I’m too mean, harsh, and/or too much of an asshat. Which is fine. But some have intimated that (gasp) I might not be funny! This strikes me to the core. (See this post)

Therefore I am calling for all and sundry to abuse moi—that’s right, take your best shot. BUT: You must do so in an amusing fashion. You funny, me laugh. You not funny, me cry and call a guy I know named Guido who does things to kneecaps.

The meanest/funniest entry wins a t-shirt emblazoned with the following:


(or an alternate slogan of appropriate villainy. Open to suggestions.)

This masochistic contest will run until the day before the boggercon. I reserve the right to have impartial judges make the final decision as to who wins (anyone interested, please contact me)

The prize will be awarded at next month’s bloggercon, with appropriate kowtowing by yours truly, right before we are all rounded up and put into a blogger re-education camp.

Let the flying barbs of wit commence!


Daryl said...

Mercer? I hardly even know her!

MercerMachine said...

Must. Try. Harder! :)

Daryl said...

Oh, I was suggesting a T-shirt slogan, not abusing you! Hard to heap abuse on someone with a dog pic in his Blogger profile.... come to think of it, maybe that's what's stopping entries from coming in.

MercerMachine said...

Hmm... well, maybe bloggers are far, far nicer than I ever guessed them to be. Ha!

In any case, let me know the size for your t-shirt just in case you're the only one who bothers to comment :)