Greetings and Salutations!

Welcome to the longest-running* yet least-read** blog on the internet! Here you'll find me writing about all the things that I write about, which strikes me, just now, as somewhat recursive. In any case, enjoy :)

* not true ** probably true

Friday, July 29, 2005

Things to do on your last day at work

  • Amble in an hour late. Offer boss a muffin from BreadTalk.
  • Surf.
  • Wander the office chatting with soon-to-be ex coworkers, making sure they are, if not non-productive, at least less productive.
  • Give away all your magazines. They’re too heavy to cart home and you’ll never re-read them anyway.
  • Surf.
  • Grasp the tip of your tongue with thumb and forefinger and say ‘I was born on a pirate ship’ three times.
  • Go to lunch an hour early.
  • ‘Liberate’ office supplies. After all, you were forced to buy your own stapler, staples, paper clips, ruler, scissors and pencil sharpener when you started.
  • Surf.
  • Craft a cheerful, slightly cheeky ‘permanently out of office’ auto-reply email.
  • Erase all emails that haven’t already been forwarded to someone else for follow-up, including the ones you’ve been saving for months ‘just in case’ even though the company has only given you six (six!) megs of memory for your emails, and that after you complained bitterly about having only three (three!) megs.
  • Surf.
  • Slip out the door an hour early, avoiding heartfelt goodbyes, or worse, the lack of them.

  • That’s my plan, and I’m sticking with it.

    6 comments:

    The Fool of a Took said...

    rock on!

    :)

    Little Miss Drinkalot said...

    Mighty fine plan, I say! Sorry I didn't make it down to Hideout last night. ARRrrrrr!!!

    expat@large said...

    Thanks for the drinks. Cool place.

    cheers

    E@L

    Anonymous said...

    Serious about the last one? Because it sounds like a good idea...

    DinnieLim said...

    was looking for a list of things to do for my last day at work and I landed on your page.

    the surfing thing, I am going to do. :)

    Michael McClung said...

    You could also buy a copy of Thagoth or All the World a Grave :)

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&tag=randohouseinc-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creative=9325&field-keywords=Thagoth